In the days leading up to my departure from my hometown in England I was nervous, especially when everyone I said farewell to kept reminding me of this ‘opportunity of a lifetime’. I had already been blessed to visit the holy cities of Makkah and Madinah and perform my Umrah a few years earlier, but this was something entirely different. Now I was to be a guest of the Almighty, being among the chosen few to visit his sacred House to fulfil a pillar of faith.
The Inner Journey
Hajj is not just a physical journey, it is a journey of the inner soul which seeks purification and nearness to God.
“If you intend to go on pilgrimage, before resolving on it devote your heart to Allah
(SWT) stripping it of every preoccupation and every barrier.”
(Ja’far ibn Muhammed al-Sadiq)
My first glimpse of the Ka’ba as I entered Masjid-ul-Haraam felt like a dream, and I was overwhelmed with emotion. It was a feeling that is simply indescribable; even attempting to put it into words does not do it any justice. My heart felt like it was open for the first time; to be able to touch the Ka’ba with my own hands sent a shock through my body. You can sense the divine and sacred, almost as though a spiritual connection has been created between you and your Lord, leaving your heart and mind at ease. This spiritual contentment is a blessing which attracts so many pilgrims every year; the deeper inner spirituality that you experience sums up the ethos of Hajj itself.
Like death, performing Hajj is a soul defining moment in a human being’s life. It is a spiritual connection between man and his Creator. If this principle is realised then there is no boundary limiting how high the soul can ascend. When entering the divine sanctuary of the Ka’ba, one feels a sense of security, after all this is the House of God, as the Quran states;
“In it are clear signs and whosoever enters therein is safe”
(3:97)
This safety and security extends to one’s soul, as we pray, seeking refuge from God to maintain our piety. This can be seen in the supplication recommended to recite near the Ka’ba:
“O Allah, surely You said “and whosoever enters therein he/she would be safe”
therefore, save me from the punishment of Hell Fire.”
The atmosphere is phenomenal; there is a real craving for worship and you can feel a spiritual buzz in the air. You lose track of time, forgetting the day, the month, as though these means of quantifying and measuring are irrelevant here. Instead you remain engrossed in worship and prayer. I forgot all about my home life, my worries and responsibilities.
“The Holy House is blessed and a guidance for the nations”
(3:96)
Such is the attraction of this sanctuary that you will spend as much time looking at the Ka’ba as you possibly can, for this in itself is worship.
“…The people go to it as beasts or pigeons go towards spring water.
Like thirsty camels reaching water or pigeons flying towards their chicks in the nest, the pilgrims rush towards the House of the Beloved so enthusiastically that one has the impression that they have lost their control.”
(Ali ibn Abu Talib)
This is the very reason the pilgrims perform the tawwaf around the Ka’ba; it is a personal act of worship between you and your Creator. I was able to contemplate, reflect and seek guidance and forgiveness from my Lord. Being a part of this movement and witnessing it, is a breathtaking sight. From the beginning of time until the end of time, people have, and always will, continue to circumambulate around what is the epicentre of spirituality and divinity for all believers. This is truly one of God’s greatest miracles. I even remember looking up towards the sky as I performed my tawwaf, trying to envisage the angels who continuously circle the House of God.
As I went past the golden door of the Ka’ba tears flowed from my eyes. Raising my hands, I kept thinking how fortunate and blessed I was to be standing on this sacred ground. It dawned on me, the extent of God’s infinite mercy and glory. If a beggar knocks at the door of a rich man, it is no great feat for him to open the door and bestow upon the beggar some sustenance like food or money. Yet the magnificence and greatness of God is that He has invited me; He has made arrangements for me to come to His door and then in addition, He showers me with divine blessings for my efforts. Furthermore, the sustenance He provides is eternal bounties and paradise. How merciful God is!
Just a Set of Rituals?
As a child I remember being taught about Hajj in madrassa; all the details were explained concerning the various acts and rituals which need to be performed. This idea of having to perform all the acts is also stressed during lectures and listening to personal experiences. It is not surprising then, that from an outsider’s perspective, Hajj can be seen merely a series of rituals. It is only now, having performed these ‘rituals’ myself that I realise there is more to these acts of worship than simply performing them. The key is to try and understand the true meaning, the underlying ethos and implication of our actions, otherwise we will fail to obtain the spiritual benefit through performing the various Hajj rites.
The performance of Hajj is beautifully structured; there is a distinctive sequence and design, and each component has a specific role in the ultimate goal of spiritual enlightenment. In Makkah, you are commanded by God to leave His pure and sacred House to embark on a journey to cleanse yourself, returning only when purified. So you travel to Arafat, a barren, desert land inhabited only by the infinite mercy of God. It is here, that we are showered with forgiveness, absolved by our Creator after we seek it. He takes a step towards us, then it is our turn to take a step towards Him and accept our new covenant.
And so we head for Muzdalifa. Here, under the open skies we reflect on the vices and impurities within our soul and pick up stones which symbolise our acts of disobedience. Following the sequence, we then respond to God’s forgiveness by declaring to cast away our inner demons. We travel to Mina and relieve our souls from the burden of our sins by throwing stones at the Jamaraats, casting them back to Shai’tan. Then in consolidation we reaffirm our submission to God by performing Qurbani and Halaq. Only then are we invited back to the House of God to perform the remaining rites of tawaaf, sa’ee and salat.
As I finished my last mandatory act, I realised that I had just completed my first ever Hajj. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of contentment which, again, I cannot adequately put into words; a sense of happiness and excitement towards God which could not be contained.
“So when you have performed your devotions, then remember Allah as you
remembered your fathers, rather with a more lively remembrance.”
(2:200)
Hajj can be a life changing experience and a spiritual awakening, but only if we maintain our covenant with God, a challenge when we return to our normal lives and societies. Of course, one cannot maintain the same momentum; our hearts stop moving freely, in circular motions reminiscent of tawaaf, and, and if we’re not careful, instead become (re)attached to the world.
Inevitably, life can slowly erode our connection to, and perspective of, God; this is probably the most difficult challenge a pilgrim faces- not on Hajj itself, but upon returning home. Though all the rites have been performed, their inner meanings still need to be understood and implemented. This is where the real Hajj begins.
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